On Surviving Suicide

philosophy tag

by Anonymous

Anonymous is currently studying in a University in the US. He loves music, comedy and the silence of a library at 3 am. He has many stories. This is one of them. His identity cannot be revealed for legal reasons because his university has a bad habit of suspending students who they believe may be a health risk, which he most certainly is not. Certain facts are changed.

I am writing this because many of my friends know me as a perception of a person that I am, rather than the person I believe myself to be. Whether I like it or not, death and my experience with it has formed an important part of who I am and how I live my life. As time goes by, and as I meet more people who become closer to me, I feel a growing psychological chasm between us. I feel dishonest for keeping such a major part of who I am, why I am, a secret. I want to be able to look a friend in the eye and allow them to understand my whole story, finally. This is who I am.

At the same time, I want to help people figure out how to move forward in life. Surviving suicide is incremental and I hope this may shed a bit of light on some of the first few steps.

I know that feeling though. You are slightly incredulous. What could his experience possibly be like? How real was it?

I suppose that is valid. I can only describe what it meant to me. Through this, I hope to give a small insight to what I believed was a suicidal mind. Nobody from the outside can really understand what suicide feels like, and those who do are generally in no position to elucidate.

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Forgetting – Humanity’s greatest gift

philosophy tag

By Jeng Yang

We’ve frequently extolled the virtues of remembering. We hail those with perfect memory as heroes. Hell, we even have World Memory Championships. Sometimes we don’t remember the fact that memories are dangerous things.

You’ve probably asked people how their thought processes work. Mine works pretty badly; I reached today’s topic by thinking about how I or anyone else would or could move on from the death of a loved one. I decided to think about the gift of forgetting.

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Solo travelling in the world of independent filmmaking

afiq azman film making penang

by Afiq Azman

Afiq Azman is a freelance writer and aspiring filmmaker. He often travels by bus as it is, according to him, a place of solitude and soul searching.  

I make films on an amateur level; I don’t have access to big budgets or expensive equipment. And it is quite a tough game.

However, that to me doesn’t qualify for an excuse to not make a film. Of course if I ever was to submit a film for a competition, it has a 10% chance of even making the shortlist.

In the day and age of cheaper DSLRs and the advent of Youtube, Viddsee and Vimeo, all great sources of films and videos made on a budget, it create an easier avenue for people like me to share their work online. Don’t expect a huge following at first cause remember, you don’t become a filmmaker because of showing off. You are one because you like to share stories and you want to impact audiences with your message.

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Thoughts from the Nullarbor desert


By Jeng Yang

It was on our tenth day, as we drove yet again to the desert, that our social expectations quickly wore thin, and our natural inclination for individualistic hedonism quickly took over. For me, of course, it was sooner than most; my attempts at socialization were after all, always only a farce. I had buried myself in an intriguing book by Doytevesky and Simon had emerged from his backpack with a Spanish-Dutch romance novel. I gazed outside, staring at yet another endless plain of bush forest, or was it grasslands, or temperate desert? It did not matter after all. I was more intrigued by the cloudy skies, the visage of its underbelly concealing the full range of its existence. The hidden behemoth that was the Australia cloud led me to the contemplations of the certainty of dimensional existences. To a God looking down, we must be very flat characters after all.
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