On Surviving Suicide

philosophy tag

by Anonymous

Anonymous is currently studying in a University in the US. He loves music, comedy and the silence of a library at 3 am. He has many stories. This is one of them. His identity cannot be revealed for legal reasons because his university has a bad habit of suspending students who they believe may be a health risk, which he most certainly is not. Certain facts are changed.

I am writing this because many of my friends know me as a perception of a person that I am, rather than the person I believe myself to be. Whether I like it or not, death and my experience with it has formed an important part of who I am and how I live my life. As time goes by, and as I meet more people who become closer to me, I feel a growing psychological chasm between us. I feel dishonest for keeping such a major part of who I am, why I am, a secret. I want to be able to look a friend in the eye and allow them to understand my whole story, finally. This is who I am.

At the same time, I want to help people figure out how to move forward in life. Surviving suicide is incremental and I hope this may shed a bit of light on some of the first few steps.

I know that feeling though. You are slightly incredulous. What could his experience possibly be like? How real was it?

I suppose that is valid. I can only describe what it meant to me. Through this, I hope to give a small insight to what I believed was a suicidal mind. Nobody from the outside can really understand what suicide feels like, and those who do are generally in no position to elucidate.

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Being Alive

CREATIVES tag

by Jeng Yang

I stay up in the library a lot, to the early mornings of the day.

Those who know me know I do not study very well so sometimes I do something different.

Our library have light sensors that are triggered by motion sensors. It is common to see a swath of corridors light up as a person comes in and out of the library. When one sits long enough, the motion sensors fail and the lights go out.

Sometimes, I play a slow piano serenade and sit still, long enough to see the lights go out one by one, as the darkness descends steadily towards me until it engulfs me completely.

It becomes so beautifully surreal. No longer buoyed with reality, my mind lifts me by a tether and I watch myself watch myself watch myself.

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Living, not just Existing

philosophy tag

by Koxeida

Living out his imagination, thinking the worth of his life, and communicating his identity through writing, Koxeida struggles not for the sake of others, but for himself. He is a selfish amateur being.

I want to live, not just exist in this world. The society is changing, and so am I, and so is everyone else. Can you remember the time, when you were a young kid, full of dreams and ambitions?

I wanna be a pilot!

I wanna travel all around the world!

I wanna be a doctor to save the lives of others!

I wanna become rich!

Endless possibilities and boundless imagination manifested in us. But where have they disappeared as we grow older?

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