On Surviving Suicide

philosophy tag

by Anonymous

Anonymous is currently studying in a University in the US. He loves music, comedy and the silence of a library at 3 am. He has many stories. This is one of them. His identity cannot be revealed for legal reasons because his university has a bad habit of suspending students who they believe may be a health risk, which he most certainly is not. Certain facts are changed.

I am writing this because many of my friends know me as a perception of a person that I am, rather than the person I believe myself to be. Whether I like it or not, death and my experience with it has formed an important part of who I am and how I live my life. As time goes by, and as I meet more people who become closer to me, I feel a growing psychological chasm between us. I feel dishonest for keeping such a major part of who I am, why I am, a secret. I want to be able to look a friend in the eye and allow them to understand my whole story, finally. This is who I am.

At the same time, I want to help people figure out how to move forward in life. Surviving suicide is incremental and I hope this may shed a bit of light on some of the first few steps.

I know that feeling though. You are slightly incredulous. What could his experience possibly be like? How real was it?

I suppose that is valid. I can only describe what it meant to me. Through this, I hope to give a small insight to what I believed was a suicidal mind. Nobody from the outside can really understand what suicide feels like, and those who do are generally in no position to elucidate.

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